You know your marriage is dead; there is absolutely no life in it. It could be due to various reasons but if you are the only one who realizes this and wants out of the relationship it can be tough telling your husband.
If you are certain that your marriage is over then do not waste time in telling him as life is too short to ruin stuck with somebody who you do not have any love or respect for. Just try to make it as easy as possible for both of you:
- Take him to a place that is private and deserted to break the news. This will make sure that nobody sees or hears you in case he throws a tantrum! Remember even if he wants the divorce, hearing it from you may hurt his “male ego.” On the other hand if he is a calm person, it will help him receive the news better if there are no strangers or family around.
- Never break the news in front of children!
- Do not try to place the blame on him as it will only lead to counterarguments and the conversation will not lead to anywhere. Use assertive statements using “I” so that he understands that you have made up your mind and there is no changing it.
- Assure him that he will always be a part of his children’s life and that his children will always love him even if their parents do not live together.
- Plan to have this conversation in the morning so that the whole day is there to think about the change in life and to release most of the tension by evening when the children will be back from school.
- You must be very patient and honest in the entire conversation if you want it your way.
If divorce is a certainty do not try to change into a horrible person so that he will ask for the divorce and you will be saved the blame for separation; it will never work. It will cause undue hatred and anger which can be prevented if the entire situation is approached with maturity.
Divorce is easy; it is how to tell your husband you want a divorce that is the toughest part. How to tell your husband you want a divorce without facing any negative reactions is of course impossible; so stay cool and be prepared for it.